3. Thou shall not stay in the relationship if the person causes more harm than good.
If you find the person is judging you instead of supporting you, that is definitely causing more harm than good. When you see this person, if they invoke feelings of anxiety, anger, or even fear, this is not a good relationship to be in. A good relationship helps celebrate your triumphs and sits with you in the dark during your hardest times. If you feel this person is causing more harm than good in your life, maybe it’s time to let that person go.
4. Thou shall not stay in the relationship if that person’s toxicity is rubbing off on you.
Everyone has that one person who is either negative all the time or constantly quoting positive affirmations. I’m sorry but no one wants to hear about f*cking silver linings when your mom just died. No Aunt Karen, I do not care that we got a discount on mom’s coffin! The company you keep can have a major impact on your personality and the way you react to situations. If the company you keep is shallow and negative all the time, you too could become shallow and negative all the time. Life is too short to dislike the company you keep. Choose wisely.
5. Thou shall not stay in the relationship if that person is DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA.
As a society we have been conditioned to view drama as a good thing. Drama means passion, passion means we care, so this person must really care about me because they are super dramatic. NO! NO! NO! What we see in the media are often neurotic, dysfunctional, and drama-driven relationships. Why is this? Because drama sells. Drama makes the ratings go up. But all this drama isn’t good for us. Just because someone is dramatic it does not mean they are just being emotional. Do not confuse emotional with shallowness or attention seeking. So how do we avoid this negative and dramatic behavior? 1. Don’t let their drama become your problem. 2. Set boundaries. 3. Make yourself your first priority. 4. Stay calm. 5. Physically remove yourself from the situation.
Bottom line, if the person is a jerk, selfish or an energy vampire, it may be time to reevaluate the people you keep in your circle. Letting go is hard, especially if you are letting go of someone that has been in your life for a while. It is definitely a process and one that you should move at your own pace and timeline. And you are allowed to grieve those relationships that no longer serve you. Just because they no longer are beneficial for you now, doesn’t mean they weren’t once. Take the good parts of the relationships and move on. Dump the users and the losers. The more you start focusing on you and what you deserve, the more positive and supportive people will appear in your corner.