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“Then, the ultimate thing beyond anyone’s control, cancer, became that life-altering event that split me in two; the before and the after.”
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Every now and then something pivotal happens in one’s life by which time is measured. A life-altering event like a birth, a death, or a diagnosis such as cancer, can change your life in an instant. For me, my marker event was Sammie before cancer, and then Sammie after cancer. As I look back on my cancer journey, all I see is change to the point where I barely recognize the person I was before cancer. There will always be a BEFORE and an AFTER.
Before Sammie was a type A control freak. As a teacher, she was used to making lists, schedules, color coating, and organizing everything! She planned things at least 2 weeks ahead and was never spontaneous. She was a hard worker, responsible, and always did the right thing. She was the first person into work and the last one to leave. She always put others first and never said the word “no”. She overextended herself and molded herself to fit into other people’s worlds to make sure THEY were comfortable. She had a solid five-year plan and nothing was going to change that…
Then, the ultimate thing beyond anyone’s control, cancer, became that life-altering event that split me in two; the before and the after. I struggled in the beginning because I felt like my life was spinning out of control and I hated it. I hated the waiting periods between scans and tests. I hated the unknown questions like, how many embryos will my husband and I get? Will I be able to have children the natural way? Will the chemotherapy that is coursing through my veins every other week shrink my tumor? Will the cancer come back? As a teacher, I was used to having all the answers, but this was one test I completely failed.
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“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”
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-Leonardo DiCaprio
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“I focus on the things I can control and pay no attention to the things I can’t.”
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