Endure and Let Go
The day of my boudoir shoot I was feeling incredibly nervous. I had a million thoughts running through my head. Will this shoot ACTUALLY bring awareness to breast cancer? Will people care? Will I look empowered? Will I feel empowered or like a fraud? Am I a good role model for the breast cancer community? Will it look like I am trying too hard? Will it look like I’m not trying enough?
These questions and more kept creeping into my head. However, once the photographer started to paint my body with pink paint and glitter, all those questions and thoughts started to dissipate. She assured me that she would be the only one in the room and that I should enjoy my day of pampering.
I got my makeup done, put on my favorite wig, had a glass of wine (or a bottle), and once the music was on I started to shake my tail feather. She wanted me to have full creative control over the shoot and only captured what I wanted to be seen. She was great at guiding me and knowing the best angles for my body.
I thought I would be more insecure or find numerous flaws during the shoot, but I didn’t. I was feeling myself and it felt damn good. For the first time, probably in my entire life, I felt sexy. And trust me, coming from a 4’10 girl who has been referred to as “cute” her entire life, that’s saying a lot!
I was proud of my body and the war it had been through. I was proud of my attitude and how I was able to laugh at myself and smile again. And most importantly, I was proud of my spirit for being able to endure and let go of the anger and hate I had towards cancer. With each click of the camera, my anger melted away and my confidence bursted through. I think at one point I actually tried to twerk.
If you are a woman looking to feel empowered, sexy and feminine, I highly suggest dipping your toes into boudoir photography. It will give you a good excuse to buy that hot lace teddy you’ve been eyeing up. Not to mention, it makes a great gift for the hubby (wink).