CHEMOTHERAPY

You know what I’m still learning in my sixth year of survivorship after breast cancer?
Neither the length nor volume of hair I display defines who I am as a woman—as a wife, daughter, or friend either.

While it was incredibly difficult to relinquish my long blonde hair to the effects of chemotherapy, it wasn’t until I stared back at the barren image in the mirror that I began to see the woman that resided within, the woman that I was becoming.

The sudden loss of our hair can make us feel powerless, no longer able to blend in with the flow of people we encounter throughout our everyday lives. The quicksand of comparison, we thrash to escape.

But then we discover that the real power within us was never in our ability to control our circumstances. Rather, the most authentic power can be found within our own thoughts, within the way we choose to move forward in our respective healing journeys.

While I was excited for each progressing state of hair growth I share here, I also have to share with you that though my hair has regrown a fair amount, I still feel nothing like the me I was before my cancer.

My hair has grown, and so have I. And my relationship with my hair, we have grown apart. My hair isn’t the same, and neither am I. Any prior notion of my hair as my identity is old, and I am new.

Friends, if you are finding yourselves searching for past reflections of yourselves, I invite you to pause.

See the person in the mirror—trying, healing, growing. Have grace for your beautiful self. See the you your friends and family members see. Transform your self talk to words of affirmation; speak to yourself just as you would your best friend.

We are so much more than our hair.