My name is Tabitha. I’m a teacher, wife, and mother to two beautiful boys, ages six and three. In October 2023, I was diagnosed with HER2-positive, hormone receptor–negative metastatic breast cancer.
But my journey began long before that diagnosis.
In my 20s, I found a lump in my right breast and immediately went to my doctor. Even with a requisition for a mammogram, I was told I was too young. Because I had no family history, I didn’t meet Ontario’s criteria for a diagnostic mammogram.
That day, I left with only an ultrasound and reassurance that the lump was “just a cyst.” I had no idea that encounter would foreshadow the barriers I’d face a decade later.
Years later, during my second pregnancy, I was hospitalized for a serious heart arrhythmia. Genetic testing revealed a rare de novo mutation – meaning it began with me, not inherited from my family. I was told this mutation carried no increased cancer risk.
After giving birth, I noticed something unusual while breastfeeding. My left breast always felt fuller, heavier, and more uncomfortable than my right. Lactation consultants said it was due to my heart medication. When I later found a lump, I was told again that it was just a blocked milk duct.
Even when I continued to feel that lump after weaning, every answer pointed me away from cancer – hormones, anxiety, sleepless nights, perimenopause. No one suggested a mammogram.
Learn more about Clogged Milk Duct vs. Breast Cancer – Understanding the Difference.
Eventually, I scored only a 6% lifetime risk on a breast cancer risk assessment – still not enough to qualify for early screening.
When I later felt swollen lymph nodes under my arm, I called eleven imaging clinics. Ten said I didn’t meet the high-risk criteria and would need to wait months. The eleventh finally agreed to squeeze me in as a favor.
The tone changed as soon as the mammogram began. The radiologist was called in for an emergency biopsy. My life shifted in an instant.
At first, I believed I had stage 2 breast cancer, but weeks later, a PET scan revealed the word De Novo – meaning I was Stage 4 metastatic from the start.
I learned this devastating news alone at home through a patient portal alert on Thanksgiving weekend. My surgery was canceled. My treatment plan changed overnight.
My world shattered as I tried to care for my two young children while processing a terminal diagnosis.
Days later, Ontario announced that mammogram screening would begin at age 40. For so many women, it was a victory.
For me, it came too late.
Read more on Understanding Treatment Options for Stage 4 Breast Cancer.
I didn’t know that:
Even many healthcare providers outside oncology are unaware of these facts. That’s why sharing stories like mine matters.
Today, I live scan-to-scan. My days are filled with moments of love, laughter, and reflection.
I record myself reading my children’s favorite stories and write letters for their future milestones. I want them to always hear my voice and know how deeply they are loved.
Being a mother with metastatic breast cancer means finding hope in the smallest moments – even when the future is uncertain.
At Learn Look Locate, we believe stories like Tabitha’s hold the power to change lives. They remind us why awareness must meet access, and why no woman — no matter her age, pregnancy status, or risk score — should be told to “wait.”
From Cynthia Jordan, Founder of Learn Look Locate:
“Tabitha’s courage and honesty shine a light for every young mother who wonders if she should ask for more. Her voice will help countless women trust their instincts and push for answers. We are so grateful for her advocacy, her strength, and her willingness to help others know what she never did.”
Q1. Can you get breast cancer while pregnant or breastfeeding?
A: Yes. Breast cancer can develop during pregnancy or while breastfeeding – known as pregnancy-associated breast cancer. If you find a lump, ask for imaging.
Q2. Are mammograms safe during breastfeeding?
A: Yes. Mammograms are safe and effective during breastfeeding. It’s best to nurse or pump before your appointment for comfort and clarity.
Q3. What are common signs of metastatic breast cancer?
A: Signs may include fatigue, persistent pain, new lumps, or swollen lymph nodes. Always report changes to your healthcare provider.
Q4. Why are young women often diagnosed late?
A: Younger women are frequently told they are “too young” for cancer or denied imaging. Advocacy and awareness are vital for early detection.
Q5. How can I advocate for myself if something feels wrong?
A: Trust your instincts. Request imaging even if you don’t meet standard criteria. Seek a second opinion if needed. You know your body best.
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