Meet Tricia – An Emotional Contributor for LLL and blogger.
I was at the hardware store today because I needed one screw to replace one in my door lock that somehow came up missing. I wandered around the garden section first because I’m desperate for warmer weather so I can get into this garden.
But I finally made it to the thousands of choices in the back of the store. The associate was busy helping a lady find what she was looking for when I scootched by them to get to what I needed.
After they were finished, but before the lady walked away she approached me. If you know me you know that I am a very extroverted introvert, so I instantly got nervous. she proceeded to say “GREAT haircut!” with emphasis on GREAT. (I don’t remember the correct grammar for those quotes so go with it.) She proceeded to removed her had to reveal a short blonde buzz cut that was a beautiful contrast next to her chocolate skin. Without hesitation I replied almost cheerfully with, “Thanks, but it wasn’t by choice.” I didn’t even think before I spoke.
She became instantly small and quietly said, “It wasn’t? Oh…” I felt bad for her. I didn’t mean to diminish her compliment or to make her feel bad for me.
But I don’t feel like I look like a normal healthy human so I was very confused. I still am.
So I took a pic to post here. And I want to say that I like the hair. I actually do! But my skin is unevenly toned. My brows are too sparse. My pores are big. My nose looks enormous. I have no lashes. I need half of my my eyelids removed because I can see them without a mirror. I have three too many chins. And my skin is very dry and itchy.
Here’s the but… All of those things are based on my physical appearance. So I pose the question to you, my reader. Would you give up your entire physical appearance for the sole purpose to live? It’s very easy to think that I would absolutely say yes!! Or that YOU would easily say yes.
It’s extremely mentally challenging. But at the end of the day, I’m still grateful. I get to spend less than 15 minutes getting ready for my day. I don’t worry about makeup. I don’t think about hair appointments or styles. I don’t even care that I don’t have lashes. I don’t want a daily makeup routine. I am loving this stage! Strange men no longer stare me down. I don’t worry about my weight. I get to spend all that time doing whatever makes me happy in the moment. Shamrock shake for breakfast? Yes. Cozy socks just because. Candles lit in every room at night. A daily walk with my doggo. Spending hours talking to my plants. Cleaning because I want to not because I have to. Making amends with people that I need in my corner and cutting ties with joy-suckers.
My hair won’t be normal again until chemo says so, so it’s thin. But it’s GROWING. And dead things don’t grow. So I’m still here. My hair is proof.
Life is good. My soul is happy. And I am beautifully made.
Read Tricia’s story and her journey with here.
At Learn Look Locate, we believe in the power of shared experiences to uplift and support those affected by breast cancer. Through personal stories like Tricia’s, our platform offers insights into the emotional aspects of living with metastatic breast cancer and promotes self-acceptance and courage. With a wide range of resources, including diagnosis, treatments, and stage 4 breast cancer blogs, we aim to create a community that fosters understanding and hope for those on their breast cancer journey.