The torture of time!

Who felt this? Who felt tortured with the waiting time for your results? How many of you had friends tell you “oh it’s just nothing it happened to me, it just a cyst-don’t worry?” Seriously???! You have a needle jammed into your boob that is beyond painful with people staring at you saying, ” it’s going to be just fine!” One small fact about me, I knew I had cancer before my biopsy was even done! I was insistent on seeing the radiologist and the screen of the so-called abnormality, and the radiologist said “yea, it is a high probability it’s cancer.” So get this, I am laying there getting the needle put in, KNOWING I HAD CANCER! So now it was just the waiting for the results to find out how bad it was. The torture of time is what it felt like for me, every day that went by waiting for the phone call for the biopsy results! Did you feel the same? Once I got the results, I was on a mission to digest it, understand it, be empowered by it and yes, start Learn Look Locate!⁠

Here is one of my LLL bloggers thoughts on this topic:⁠
Waiting for diagnostic results is awful. ⁠

Made me think about how time has changed. Your cancer diagnosis is a demarcation, it’s one of those “before” and “after” life defining events. ⁠

What changed first for you? I mean after the shock. Do you remember your first thoughts? Who you called? What you did? I vividly recall walking out of the ultra sound, hearing “your biopsy should be “ASAP” and just looking at everything around me. ⁠

The building. The cars. The sunshine. Then noticing everything in my house suddenly looked less permanent. Then I realized I was the one who had lost the sense of permanent. I was the thing that might not be there. ⁠

These days I see time in chunks, rather than an endless continuum. I cringe at the term “bucket list”. now it’s too real. Now I say, “that’s something I’d really like to do.” ⁠

So many emotions once you are told you need a biopsy!