Tamara - Stage 4

Tamara

Stage 4, Kansas

“Before I was diagnosed with cancer the first time, I didn’t realize how much of a lie I was living. I was chasing the big house, the money, the big vacations and the acceptance of those around me.”

Instagram: @tgill7185
Podcast: Energy Never Dies

Emma, Tamara and Alex.

My name is Tamara Gillespie. I am a wife and mother of two amazing girls (a 12 year old named Emma and 15 year old named Alex). Before I was diagnosed with cancer the first time, I didn’t realize how much of a lie I was living. I was chasing the big house, the money, the big vacations and the acceptance of those around me. What I didn’t realize is all of that really meant nothing to me and really what I was chasing was something that already existed inside me.

I was originally diagnosed with Stage 2 hormone positive breast cancer in January of 2016. I was in remission after surgery from that until September of 2017 when I was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. This means my cancer came back and spread to other parts of my body.

There is so much I could say about this journey I have been on but I would be here for days talking about cancer and that gets old.

I like to talk about what cancer has taught me. The most important thing I have learned is that material things mean nothing anymore. It doesn’t mean I don’t think about them, it just means that when you actually look at life and what the “American Dream” is supposed to look like is wrong in my eyes.

I believe I have achieved the so-called “American Dream”. What I like to say I have found is my energy. Which means to me is finding your purpose, being honest with yourself, finding out who you as a human energy really is and loving the energy that surrounds you daily. Once you realize your energy then you realize that energy never dies. This is what I work on daily.

In between all of this soul searching I guess you could call it. I soak in the time I have left with my girls and just love them harder than I ever have.

I do struggle with treatments for cancer, getting out of bed, and my image of who I physically am now. I am only human. But it is a lot easier to get through all of this with a new mind set that I have found.

Cancer will not rule my life.

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